Less is More – Bachelor Recap 3

backst.jpg

If you missed this weeks episode of The Bachelor, don’t worry, you only missed Corinne’s boobs out for all to see (but it’s fine because Daddy’s proud remember?).

End of Last Week’s Episode

So as we all know, Liz went home last week. “We’re adults that had one night of fun”. Liz, you’re yesterdays news. He wants a new piece of booty to flash on national TV. He tells the ladies, he’s an open book so they can ask him anything they want. What I need to know is who picked that tie out because it’s horrendous.

Whipped & Ready

Cue Corinne. In a trenchcoat. Yes, a trenchcoat. This chick straight up has no shame, whipping out the can of Ready Whip (with the taped up logo because nobody knows what a can of Ready Whip looks like).

This scene made me cringe. Leave that in the fantasy suite please…if you ever make it there. Jasmine awkwardly interupts acting like she casually stumbled upon this jokeworthy scene. In reality all of the women had their noses pressed to the window…only thing missing was popcorn ladies. After she was done shoving her boobs down Nick’s throat, she was so exhausted that she needed to go lay down..I’d be exhausted too girl. I mean good for her, if a girl wants to take a nap, let the girl take a nap. Nobody wants her at the party anyway.

When the princess rises from her slumber, she informs the girls that she has a nanny. And not like the Fran Drescher type.. the Dorota type (and that is in no way a jab at queen Blair Waldorf). She explains that being in the house has opened her eyes to doing “big girl things” that the nanny would normally do for her (i.e cut her cucumber). Why she keeps coming back to the cucumber thing like thats the only thing the nanny does for her, I don’t get but I also don’t get that cutting cucumbers is a bigger task than “owning this million dollar company”.

Quote of the night: “Washing my clothes makes Raquel happy, and I’m not going to stop a woman’s happiness”

Image result for ashley i meme bachelor

YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT STUFF UP PEOPLE

Backstreets Back, Alright!

It’s no surprise that EVERY girl on this group date was all goo-goo ga-ga over the Backstreet Boys being on there. They’re all 23-26 and a part of my 90’s generation self was a little jealous too. At least this time around, unlike other seasons, the girls actually didn’t have to pretend to like whatever “so last year” performer they throw on these dates.

I just don’t understand the outfits these chicks think is normal to wear on dates. Same goes for the next date meeting the Olympic athletes. They know there is some type of physical activity involved. You’re more than capable of looking cute in leggings and an appropriately fitting tank top. LESS IS MORE LADIES. But hey who am I kidding, look at who the Bachelor is this year.

Example:

Image result for week 3 bachelor nick group date

Can we all take a look at Alexis’ outfit. Take notes from her Astrid. “If I had known we were doing something athletic I would have worn a different bra”. No you wouldn’t have.

Can we also pause and be embarrassed for Rachel who broke the ring thinking she had that sprint in the bag. And Alexis, bless your soul, you just hopped right over it.

Zero Gravity Puke Fest

Okay, but in all seriousness, this date looked SO FUN. Side note: It’s only a $5,000 date. Talk about being a cheap date. They genuinely looked like they had fun. Nick even had fun post-puke sesh with a makeout sesh. To each his own.

Dinner after the date was really sweet though too. He’s so genuine on the one-on-ones and then he gets to the group dates and acts like a playboy. Girls, if you’re on the group date, take the cue and leave. I’m looking at you Astrid, Josephine, & Dominique (aka cry baby).

Nick sends Dominique home and I guess to save her heart when watching this at home tells the girls how tough it was. You’ve known the girl 2 seconds and I guarentee you had to ask the producer what her name was. Calm down cowboy.

All in all, I’m tired of not having the rose ceremonies, Corinne needs to take a hike to the local strip club & fill out an application, and if Vanessa doesn’t win, this crap is rigged.

If you missed my last 2 recaps, check them out here:

4th Times a Charm – Bachelor Recap Week 1

The Downward Liz Spiral – Bachelor Recap Week 2

Xo, Jess 

Friday Favorites

It’s Friday. And it also happens to be Friday, the 13th. Cue the crazies. I need Friday. So much so that I called Comcast last night to tell them my DVR didn’t work because it didn’t record Grey’s Anatomy while we were out for the evening. TGIT on ABC doesn’t start til the 26th. My brain doesn’t work. But in my defence, TGIT is a serious thing, not something to be tampered with. Give me all of the Greys and Scandal please.

Per usual I’m linking up with my Dallas blogging buddies and sharing my favorite things from this week (or life lately).

One. Spaghetti Squash.

Related image

Ya’ll I’ve been on such a spaghetti squash kick lately. Partly because I’ve been trying to eat a little lighter but also because it’s so easy to pair with just about anything. Last Sunday I roasted one, let it cool and put in a plastic bag to use throughout the week. I’ve also been getting a rotisserie chicken to use for lunches during the week and it’s been a game changer. Throw some spaghetti squash in a container with 2 tablespoons of pesto and some of the rotisserie chicken and bam you have lunch.

Here are some other recipes I’m looking forward to trying:

Greek Spaghetti Squash

Buffalo Chicken Spaghetti Squash

Spaghetti Squash Burrito Bowl

Two. Image result for don't invite me anywhere last minute

I saw this meme the other day and it couldn’t have been a more accurate representation of my life. Ha!

Three. 

Image result for bachelor nick week 2

If you missed my Bachelor recap on Wednesday, shame on you. But it’s not too late. Click here to check it out.

Other random favs from this week:

  • Ryan Gosling’s Golden Globe speech…making hearts melt continuously since he was Allie’s Noah.
  • PRISON BREAK COMING BACK APRIL 4TH (I’m only a little excited).
  • We saw a local comedian last night who was just down right hilarious. Nothing wrong with a little raw humor on a Thursday night. Perfect start to the weekend.

I have a pretty quiet weekend planned. Danny’s going to the new casino in DC tonight with a friend so I’ve got a date with my couch, some popcorn and a glass of wine.

xo. Jess 

Linking up with Erika, Narci, and Andrea

The Downward Liz Spiral – Bachelor Recap Week 2

 

the_bachelor_s21e02_still.jpg

I wish I could just start off with Danielle M’s date. But I guess I’ll start just like the Von Trapps would…at the very beginning. Cue the unimaginable amount of eye rolls for this weeks recap (at least up until Danielle M’s date).

Keep in mind, at this point the girls have only known Nick for what..all of 24 hours? And they’re already losing sleep over him. Something seems off. Liz is the only one at this point who is justified in losing sleep, mainly because she keeps talking out of her butt, not helping her already awkward situation. And she’s gearing up to make it worse. We’ll get to that in a hot sec.

Chris Harrison comes in and in the most discrete and obvious way possible reminds the girls that since they won’t all be attending one of the dates, that “they better take advantage any chance they get”. Aka keep those ratings up…because thats all this show is anymore apparently since he sent the wife material home last week (I’m still bitter that he sent Lauren home if you need to know).

Shot-Gun Wedding Photoshoot Group Date

“Always a bridesmaid…”

Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, Alexis, Hailey, Lacey, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L., Taylor, and Elizabeth W all get the group date. Corinne, because the world revolves around her thinks she didn’t get the bridesmaid role, because “she was a natural born bride”. You’re a natural born b word but bride isn’t one of them.

Taylor comes out thinking she’s Kim K marrying Kris Humphries. Wrong reality show babe.

Brittney comes out SLAYING. I mean if anyone could pull off the greek goddess leaf bikini, girl it’s you. And because she came out half naked…Corinne had to one up her and actually get naked

the-bachelor-31.jpg

I take my previous statement back. Natural born b word…and s word…

This date turned into Nick locking tongues with most of the girls…the most tongue on the 2nd episode in all of Bachelor history. And Lacey makes it known he tasted like Danielle which was just bizarre on all levels. Are you familiar with what she tastes like?

Alexis gets the short end of the deal as a pregnant bride…goes from a southern accent to the NJ twang in no time and gives Nick an idea of what it would be like to be in the delivery room. Just what every guy wants to imagine on their first date.

It’s a wonderful thing that the show picks a winning photographer, and by that I mean one they knew would follow their directions to throw ratings through the roof. The deal was whoever had the most chemistry, got extra time with Nick. Hold in your surprise…Franco Lacosta picked…drumroll please…Ms. Thing herself. (insert an eye roll here).

d9f5b16f-4430-4c74-9ce2-9b1f4d57b8e9.jpg

Gag me. The night summed up into one sentence? Corinne interrupting each conversation every other second (having shots and champs between each interruption) ending in a cat fight between Corinne & Taylor because “this is gonna happen ladies..we’re here for Nick not to be friends with each other”. I’ve never heard that before.

Screen Shot 2017-01-10 at 9.11.49 PM.png

Finally a date worth talking about. Danielle M’s date began landing a helicopter on a yacht. Thats serious. Finally some sort of normalcy in this show. Lacey is so right…probably the nicest girl in the house.

Pause oh shit moment that we all were anticipating…Liz dumping the news on Christen while Nick and Danielle are on their romantic date. If only he knew what kind of drama stirring up at home.

“Playa say what”…What is that…Who are you? And my neighbor and I agree we don’t think she washes her hair…and 99% chance she thinks she’s on the inner city streets.

They have a fun “normal” date on the yacht. Then end the evening with dinner that neither of them eat but they actually have a good talk. Her ex-boyfriend apparently died of a drug overdose that she had no idea about? Not sure how you don’t know your significant other has a drug problem but regardless she’s definitely my favorite thus far. And Nick just made every hopeless romantic girl watching swoon because he totally dug into the depths of his heart to let her know how she should never feel like that burden should be on her, because he was certain her ex loved her regardless of the addiction. Damn Nick, you were just the most real I’ve ever witnessed. Okay, I take back not liking you. Finally you can open up to someone.

Since this recap has just became never-ending it seems and I thought the whole Break Up Museum thing was weird.. Lets just sum the rest of the episode up. Josephine slaps Nick (bold move) and Liz has word vomit again and I don’t think anyone truly understood her intent when she used the “mock break-up” exercise to voice to the entire group that she and Nick did the dirty a few months ago. Nick was like no beuno and sent that chick packing. Another good move on your part, even though it totally ruined my bracket.

If there is one thing that grinds my gears most, it’s ending an episode without a rose ceremony. And its like a regular thing now that I’m not a fan of. If you’re still here reading this, thanks for sticking it out! I’ll be back next week for hopefully a rose ceremony.

If you missed week one you can read about it here:

Bachelor Recap – Week 1

xo, Jess 

 

2017 Intentions

413512064ecff46842736c7582b07221.jpg

Resolutions have never been something I stick to. Just like the rest of the world, after the ball drops, I kiss my loved ones, and make empty promises to myself to eat better, workout more, and lose 10 pounds. The media somewhat aids in this revelation I think, which isn’t entirely a bad thing, it’s just something we feel we are obligated to do. This year, just like any other year, yeah I want to eat a little lighter but focus more on just being a happier version of myself in the coming year.

Vibes speak louder than words – I saw this quote on Pinterest a few days ago and along with a fellow blogger’s 2017 “intentions” post the other day, it rang so true. I’m a person who is deeply driven from the vibes I get from people I encounter every day. I so very carefully approach situations because I feel like I’m going to say or do something wrong. I’ll do anything to make the people around me happy. But is that a good thing or a bad thing? The past year has taught me that I need to pause and react to situations far differently. I think I’m so focused on making others happy that I’ve lost part of who I am. I need to do things that make ME happy too and stop worrying so much on the attitudes around me. Stop worrying about others who don’t worry about me. Let me worry about me. Make sense?

Don’t let other’s opinions bring me down – I don’t need to do great things in order to be happy. I don’t need to lead this glamourous life to only show on Instagram. I enjoy blogging, but I shouldn’t feel the need to claim to have this perfect life on social media. I’m happy with the life I live, if you don’t like it, you don’t need to. Is my life perfect? No, just like alot of people I’ve struggled alot to get where I am today but I’m okay with that. It’s just that, MY life, not yours. I’ve learned to take joy in the little things, like my dog laying on me while I type up a blog post (P.S. this is seriously the best).

21 days is all it takes to make a change, create a habit – Hoda from the Today Show posted this over the weekend and since I’m a Beachbodyer (yes thats a word), I liked it alot. Maybe you don’t do Beachbody, maybe you just do your daily workouts at a gym. Maybe you’re a runner. Maybe it’s not even working out that you’re making a change to. Whatever it may be, take it one day at a time and make the gradual change.

Try new things, do things that make you uncomfortable – try that new recipe, travel somewhere you’ve never been before. I promise, you’ll thank yourself later.

So in conclusion, 2017 I’m going to be more intentional with what makes me happy. Spend more time making memories, focus on the good, and what matters most.

Happy 2017, time to relax, snuggle my dog more, spend more Fridays on the couch and be happy.

xo, Jess 

Friday Favorites: Winter Gear Edition

Happy Friday! Even with the short week, I welcome this Friday with open arms. I’m not sure but it might be because I’ve just been so busy at work all week that I’m excited for that glass of wine when I get home today. I haven’t linked up with the girls for the usual “Friday Favorites” in a while so here we go:

Friday-Favorites-01.jpg

Maryland got some of the white stuff last night so I felt like it was only appropriate to dedicate some of my winter wear favorites these days. Our weather here in Maryland is so bi-polar. I kid you not it was 40-45 degrees just the other day. I don’t mind snow all that much as long as I have the necessary goods to keep warm! I’m looking forward to hitting the slopes a bit this winter, since I didn’t get the chance last year. Today I’m sharing some basic pieces that I’ve either picked up lately or plan on ordering on Amazon (because who am I kidding, I buy everything on Prime).

1. Columbia Women’s Whirlibird Interchange Jacket

Danny’s mom got me this jacket for Christmas and I can’t begin to tell you how comfy and warm it is. It’s roomy enough that you can wear a hoody or any multiple layers under it. It has a weatherproof liner that you can take out if you just need something a little lighter. But if you’re looking to keep warm whether its just out and about around town, or like me, hitting the slopes this winter, its perfect! Not to mention it comes in a million colors (okay 18 but that may as well be a million.)

2.  UA Around Town Beanie

As they tell you, most of your body heat escapes from your feet & head, but this hat is not only effective with keeping the heat in that head of yours, but its super cute! Annnnd there is a matching scarf, so you’ll be warm and stylish all winter long. I have it in the cream color but on Amazon right now they have it in 4 other colors as well.

3. Under Armour Women’s Infinity Scarf (Amazon doesn’t have the cream color but the teal color would be pretty too!)

4. UA Women’s ColdGear Infrared Fleece Gloves

I’ve been on the hunt for a pair of snow boots for a couple of years now. I’ve never actually gotten around to it. I usually end up wearing an old pair of Uggs. However, after seeing my neighbor and some family members get Sorel boots for Christmas, I naturally went online looking at some and came across not only Sorel ones that I liked but also a few comparable brands. These two were my favorite for style & affordability.
                                  5.  51cvic+lyLL._SL160_.jpg            6. 51GdrrO8RqL._SL160_.jpg

                                             GLOBALWIN                            Sorel Joan of Arc Boot

Are you geared up and ready for the colder weather? What are some of your favorite winter staples? Hopefully, whatever Mother Nature has planned for you this weekend, you enjoy it nonetheless.

xo, Jess

 

4th Times a Charm – Bachelor Recap Week 1

nick.jpg

Welcome to Season 21, the 4th Season for Mr. Viall himself, and my first ever recap of a Bachelor/ette episode (likely the most dramatic one yet). During the next 9 weeks of life, I will be recaping each and every episode of this beloved drama right here on Red, White & Sass. I find it only appropriate that I wrote most of this with a glass of wine in hand, because I don’t think you can watch this show without one. Ammmmirightttt?! Now let’s get started (only after praying this will be the LAST time we see Nick Viall on this show).

Before I begin you should know a few things:

  • I write all of these thoughts while watching the show, so their pretty raw. I only extend some of those thoughts to elaborate  the “raw-ness”. If that makes sense, continue reading…
  • I participate in the new Bachelor Fantasy League through ABC/ESPN (why has it taken them this long to get their act together for this) – 21st times a charm?
  • I apologize if any of this spoils things for you, stop reading now if you haven’t watched Season 21, Episode 1. Thanks.
  • That being said, spoilers only pertain here if you haven’t watched the most recent episode. I do not condone the act of reading or sharing actual season spoilers.

    What. So. Ever.  

Now that you’ve read the disclaimer, grab a glass of wine and enjoy!

The show starts out being in Nick’s hometown and either I didn’t care enough to pay attention in the past, or I just don’t remember his family at all. Especially that precious little sister of his! She had the best advice that I’ve ever heard from any family member on Bachelor history. I vote her in as Chris Harrison’s assistant. Out of the 11 brothers and sisters this guy has, she wins.

Image result for bachelor premiere nick

Onto the pow-wow with Sean, Ben & Chris. Let it be known that Sean is by far my FAVORITE Bachelor in history, Ben being my least favorite (at least of the 3 of them) and Chris just being a huge questionmark in my head. We’re all thinking it, but Sean said it best, “Alot of people don’t like you”…welllllllllllllllll I mean I like you more than I did on Andi & Kaitlyn’s season, does that count? Let’s take a moment of silence (and that shot of Jack Daniels pictured above) for him blasting Andi on LIVE television.

So now that advice was given, water down the driveway and tell the girls to put on their red dresses and cue some embarrassing limo arrival acts. I’m just going to make note on a few of my horribly embarrassing/funny favorites.

Image result for danielle l bachelor

First out of the limo, Danielle L., owns her own nail salon. Being the first out of the limo makes you relevant. Your cleavage probably helps your case with the leading guy too.

Image result for christen yellow dress bachelor

Christen, your yellow dress was just the icing on the cake of your entrance. I’m not sure what kind of dance moves you were trying to show Nick, but if he’s looking for a partner who knows how to dance, you’re not the one. Also, stating that you’re most excited about “meeting a celebrity” screams gold digger.

Next trainwreck? Taylor, saying how her friends made a point to tell her how much of a POS he is. We all think she’s going to make a joke of it…buuuut she doesn’t so I’d love to know how she’s going to recover from that.

Raven is just plain cute and adorable. I feel like Hoxie, Arkansas is code for Dillon, Texas. She’ll go far, but I bet some bitter little thing in the house tries to create drama…I’m gonna guess Corinne. HORRIBLE.

Image result for corinne bachelor

Moving to Corinne, I can only imagine these recaps will be chopfull of how much I can’t stand this chick. You don’t own a “MULTAAAII MILLION DOLLURRRRR BIZZNESSSS”…your dad does, and you’re the secretary. Also, your attitude toward your parents and your nanny makes me want to punch you. “Tell the nanny to get me my cucumber snack” Excuse me?

To those who actually thought that Liz wasn’t going to get a rose just because she had word vomit during their one on one chat, get a life. We all knew she would get the last rose, and I’m sure she’ll go far because hey he’s already gotten the goods once, why not do it again on national tv?

Quick last remarks

  • Rachel will go far, I mean she got the first impression rose so that’s just normal for the show. Also she’s from Dallas so she has that going for her too.
  • Some of the chicks should NOT have worn the red number…I’m looking at you Josephine
  • I thought I’d be more intrigued by Kristina, but she’s pretty vanilla other than her impressing RBF
  • Nick, why the @#$# did you send Lauren in the gold dress home, she was likely the best one out there aside from Vanessa the adorable Special Ed teacher.
  • I feel like I’m seeing double this time around
    • Olivia aka Caila
    • Jaime aka Jami – Note: I don’t think asking a man if they want to see your balls is the best pick up line.
    • Susannah & Shushanna – I think someone is messing with me
  • Alexis, it’s a shark not a dolphin for the 23874723th time
  • Astrid is just extra
  • So is Josephine

Basically, all of the chicks that were viable wife material, he sent home including Olivia, Lauren, Briana, Jasmine B, Michelle, Ida Marie, Angela and Susannah.

Come back next week, where there will likely be more drama and definitely some tears because Jasmine and Kristina crying in the first episode just wasn’t enough to meet the show’s quota!

Xo, Jess

Happy New Year! I’m Back!

Hey there blog world. It’s been a while. The last time I posted was a little over a month ago, and I think that’s the longest amount of time that I’ve taken away from this little space. But it was good for me. I wasn’t posting intentionally like I had hoped and needed the time away to focus on myself, my relationship with Danny and also some friendships. 2016 was full of ups and downs and while there were so many good things about it, I just felt like it was just a little hard. But without going into too many details, I’m ready to jump into the new year and focus on ALL the good.

img_7284

So bring it 2017!

I feel like every year, we all make the same “resolution” to hit the gym harder, eat a little lighter, blah blah blah. I saw this quote over the weekend and it really spoke to me:

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don’t want to sit here and make all these promises to myself, I just want to be happy. I’ve been doing Beachboy again, and that has me back in the swing of things. I started realizing that I was just walking in circles at the gym and found that I get way more out of the BB programs. If I can do the short 30 minute workouts and see results from it, then that makes me feel good. I don’t have to be one of those “girls that lift”. I can get strong and healthy just the same. It’s whatever works for YOU.

I really enjoy blogging and following along with others in this community. We all live such different lives but there is something cool about reading through others experiences. I do want to be more committed to this space, so lets see how that goes 🙂

So whats ahead for 2017? Who knows! I’d love to travel a little, make more memories. I’ll be 26 this year, and feel like there is just so much world that I want to see, may as well make this my year to travel a little more. We typically go to Nashville in April, but I’d love to try somewhere new. I’m open to suggestions, throw them my way.

I hope you had such a wonderful year, and I can’t wait to follow along in 2017, hope you’ll follow my journey too!

xo, Jess