Welcome to Season 21, the 4th Season for Mr. Viall himself, and my first ever recap of a Bachelor/ette episode (likely the most dramatic one yet). During the next 9 weeks of life, I will be recaping each and every episode of this beloved drama right here on Red, White & Sass. I find it only appropriate that I wrote most of this with a glass of wine in hand, because I don’t think you can watch this show without one. Ammmmirightttt?! Now let’s get started (only after praying this will be the LAST time we see Nick Viall on this show).
Before I begin you should know a few things:
- I write all of these thoughts while watching the show, so their pretty raw. I only extend some of those thoughts to elaborate the “raw-ness”. If that makes sense, continue reading…
- I participate in the new Bachelor Fantasy League through ABC/ESPN (why has it taken them this long to get their act together for this) – 21st times a charm?
- I apologize if any of this spoils things for you, stop reading now if you haven’t watched Season 21, Episode 1. Thanks.
- That being said, spoilers only pertain here if you haven’t watched the most recent episode. I do not condone the act of reading or sharing actual season spoilers.
What. So. Ever.
Now that you’ve read the disclaimer, grab a glass of wine and enjoy!
The show starts out being in Nick’s hometown and either I didn’t care enough to pay attention in the past, or I just don’t remember his family at all. Especially that precious little sister of his! She had the best advice that I’ve ever heard from any family member on Bachelor history. I vote her in as Chris Harrison’s assistant. Out of the 11 brothers and sisters this guy has, she wins.
Onto the pow-wow with Sean, Ben & Chris. Let it be known that Sean is by far my FAVORITE Bachelor in history, Ben being my least favorite (at least of the 3 of them) and Chris just being a huge questionmark in my head. We’re all thinking it, but Sean said it best, “Alot of people don’t like you”…welllllllllllllllll I mean I like you more than I did on Andi & Kaitlyn’s season, does that count? Let’s take a moment of silence (and that shot of Jack Daniels pictured above) for him blasting Andi on LIVE television.
So now that advice was given, water down the driveway and tell the girls to put on their red dresses and cue some embarrassing limo arrival acts. I’m just going to make note on a few of my horribly embarrassing/funny favorites.
First out of the limo, Danielle L., owns her own nail salon. Being the first out of the limo makes you relevant. Your cleavage probably helps your case with the leading guy too.
Christen, your yellow dress was just the icing on the cake of your entrance. I’m not sure what kind of dance moves you were trying to show Nick, but if he’s looking for a partner who knows how to dance, you’re not the one. Also, stating that you’re most excited about “meeting a celebrity” screams gold digger.
Next trainwreck? Taylor, saying how her friends made a point to tell her how much of a POS he is. We all think she’s going to make a joke of it…buuuut she doesn’t so I’d love to know how she’s going to recover from that.
Raven is just plain cute and adorable. I feel like Hoxie, Arkansas is code for Dillon, Texas. She’ll go far, but I bet some bitter little thing in the house tries to create drama…I’m gonna guess Corinne. HORRIBLE.
Moving to Corinne, I can only imagine these recaps will be chopfull of how much I can’t stand this chick. You don’t own a “MULTAAAII MILLION DOLLURRRRR BIZZNESSSS”…your dad does, and you’re the secretary. Also, your attitude toward your parents and your nanny makes me want to punch you. “Tell the nanny to get me my cucumber snack” Excuse me?
To those who actually thought that Liz wasn’t going to get a rose just because she had word vomit during their one on one chat, get a life. We all knew she would get the last rose, and I’m sure she’ll go far because hey he’s already gotten the goods once, why not do it again on national tv?
Quick last remarks
- Rachel will go far, I mean she got the first impression rose so that’s just normal for the show. Also she’s from Dallas so she has that going for her too.
- Some of the chicks should NOT have worn the red number…I’m looking at you Josephine
- I thought I’d be more intrigued by Kristina, but she’s pretty vanilla other than her impressing RBF
- Nick, why the @#$# did you send Lauren in the gold dress home, she was likely the best one out there aside from Vanessa the adorable Special Ed teacher.
- I feel like I’m seeing double this time around
- Olivia aka Caila
- Jaime aka Jami – Note: I don’t think asking a man if they want to see your balls is the best pick up line.
- Susannah & Shushanna – I think someone is messing with me
- Alexis, it’s a shark not a dolphin for the 23874723th time
- Astrid is just extra
- So is Josephine
Basically, all of the chicks that were viable wife material, he sent home including Olivia, Lauren, Briana, Jasmine B, Michelle, Ida Marie, Angela and Susannah.
Come back next week, where there will likely be more drama and definitely some tears because Jasmine and Kristina crying in the first episode just wasn’t enough to meet the show’s quota!