I wish I could just start off with Danielle M’s date. But I guess I’ll start just like the Von Trapps would…at the very beginning. Cue the unimaginable amount of eye rolls for this weeks recap (at least up until Danielle M’s date).
Keep in mind, at this point the girls have only known Nick for what..all of 24 hours? And they’re already losing sleep over him. Something seems off. Liz is the only one at this point who is justified in losing sleep, mainly because she keeps talking out of her butt, not helping her already awkward situation. And she’s gearing up to make it worse. We’ll get to that in a hot sec.
Chris Harrison comes in and in the most discrete and obvious way possible reminds the girls that since they won’t all be attending one of the dates, that “they better take advantage any chance they get”. Aka keep those ratings up…because thats all this show is anymore apparently since he sent the wife material home last week (I’m still bitter that he sent Lauren home if you need to know).
Shot-Gun Wedding Photoshoot Group Date
“Always a bridesmaid…”
Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, Alexis, Hailey, Lacey, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L., Taylor, and Elizabeth W all get the group date. Corinne, because the world revolves around her thinks she didn’t get the bridesmaid role, because “she was a natural born bride”. You’re a natural born b word but bride isn’t one of them.
Taylor comes out thinking she’s Kim K marrying Kris Humphries. Wrong reality show babe.
Brittney comes out SLAYING. I mean if anyone could pull off the greek goddess leaf bikini, girl it’s you. And because she came out half naked…Corinne had to one up her and actually get naked
I take my previous statement back. Natural born b word…and s word…
This date turned into Nick locking tongues with most of the girls…the most tongue on the 2nd episode in all of Bachelor history. And Lacey makes it known he tasted like Danielle which was just bizarre on all levels. Are you familiar with what she tastes like?
Alexis gets the short end of the deal as a pregnant bride…goes from a southern accent to the NJ twang in no time and gives Nick an idea of what it would be like to be in the delivery room. Just what every guy wants to imagine on their first date.
It’s a wonderful thing that the show picks a winning photographer, and by that I mean one they knew would follow their directions to throw ratings through the roof. The deal was whoever had the most chemistry, got extra time with Nick. Hold in your surprise…Franco Lacosta picked…drumroll please…Ms. Thing herself. (insert an eye roll here).
Gag me. The night summed up into one sentence? Corinne interrupting each conversation every other second (having shots and champs between each interruption) ending in a cat fight between Corinne & Taylor because “this is gonna happen ladies..we’re here for Nick not to be friends with each other”. I’ve never heard that before.
Finally a date worth talking about. Danielle M’s date began landing a helicopter on a yacht. Thats serious. Finally some sort of normalcy in this show. Lacey is so right…probably the nicest girl in the house.
Pause oh shit moment that we all were anticipating…Liz dumping the news on Christen while Nick and Danielle are on their romantic date. If only he knew what kind of drama stirring up at home.
“Playa say what”…What is that…Who are you? And my neighbor and I agree we don’t think she washes her hair…and 99% chance she thinks she’s on the inner city streets.
They have a fun “normal” date on the yacht. Then end the evening with dinner that neither of them eat but they actually have a good talk. Her ex-boyfriend apparently died of a drug overdose that she had no idea about? Not sure how you don’t know your significant other has a drug problem but regardless she’s definitely my favorite thus far. And Nick just made every hopeless romantic girl watching swoon because he totally dug into the depths of his heart to let her know how she should never feel like that burden should be on her, because he was certain her ex loved her regardless of the addiction. Damn Nick, you were just the most real I’ve ever witnessed. Okay, I take back not liking you. Finally you can open up to someone.
Since this recap has just became never-ending it seems and I thought the whole Break Up Museum thing was weird.. Lets just sum the rest of the episode up. Josephine slaps Nick (bold move) and Liz has word vomit again and I don’t think anyone truly understood her intent when she used the “mock break-up” exercise to voice to the entire group that she and Nick did the dirty a few months ago. Nick was like no beuno and sent that chick packing. Another good move on your part, even though it totally ruined my bracket.
If there is one thing that grinds my gears most, it’s ending an episode without a rose ceremony. And its like a regular thing now that I’m not a fan of. If you’re still here reading this, thanks for sticking it out! I’ll be back next week for hopefully a rose ceremony.
If you missed week one you can read about it here: